Thursday, February 3, 2011

Introducing: Ms. Bitch and Mr. Dick!


STARE AT THE FACES OF DOUCHEBAGGERY FOLKS. IT WON'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS.

(Please note these aren't their actual real names. Not even I would do that to them.)

Okay, the picture sucks as hell, but as you can tell, I'm pretty pissed. Why the hell should I give their ugly faces justice?

Just who are these people might you ask? Well they're only the two most evil people in the world right now. Even Hitler cries at the sight of these two. They may seem like nice people who are on your side, but seriously, they don't care a heaping shit about you. Usually the CPS tries to deny this but I see through your soft and fuzzy facade...*narrows eyes in an intimidating manner*

So these guys thought they could just waltz the house I live in and start bossing everyone around like they owned the place. Yeah, I was kind of mad. This isn't the first time they bothered us either. They came to my home almost five months ago and did the exact same thing. Only they didn't consider foster care at the time, and send us a million useless aides that didn't help the situation at all. In fact they made it worse, until dad got the balls to tell them to freakin' leave if they weren't going to help us. Which they did, surprisingly. I haven't met Mr. Dick at the time, but Ms. Bitch, oh God, that bitch. Let's just say I hated her and those fat lips of hers the moment I laid eyes on her.

And yes, she really does have fat lips.

I've met Mr. Dick today, who was apparently supposed to be some sort of assistant to Ms. Bitch. I have to say, this guy's a whole lot better at the sunshine and lollipops masquerade. There are times where he actually seems generally kind. Well, I'm not buying it.

See the thing about me is that you can do whatever the heck you want to me, but when you threaten my family, no matter however you do it, your ass=that patch of grass. My family sticks together 'til the bitter end. Sure, our extended family hates each other, but my father has told me countless times that there's nothing in the world you can trust more than your own family. I'll be damned if these guys place me in a foster home.

Bitch and Dick somehow managed to hook me up in a charming little interview. Just so you know; not charming in the slightest. In fact, it was full of major suckish, and I think I left a bad impression on them.

Here's the transcript, in case any of you are interested. Yeah, I actually recorded that shit.

Ms. Bitch: So Stephanie, we meet again.
Me: Yeah, don’t remind me.
B: Doing okay in school?
Me: Still an Honor Roll student last time I checked. Who’s the bald guy?
B: Oh, this is [REDACTED], he’ll be helping me in aiding your family.
D: Hello. It’s nice to meet you.
Me: Nice to meet you too, I guess.
B: You seem discomforted by us being here. Is something the matter?
Me: Actually, I am. You’re not supposed to be here.
B: Really? Is it because you’re afraid we’re going to give you to foster care?
Me: Wow, I wonder what gave you that idea.
D: We won’t force you to live in a foster home Stephanie, we just want to let you know what options are available.
(I gave Ms. Bitch one of my “looks”.)
Me: Options?!
B: You don’t seem to be happy at this house, and taking care of two young children all by yourself doesn’t seem-
(Here is when I start getting pissed.)
Me: There are plenty of other girls who do this. Some don’t even have a mom.
B: And your mom is currently a danger to you and your siblings.
Me: Bullshit!
(You should’ve seen the look on their faces)
I’m staying here, and that’s final!
B: …I do hope you realize the consequences of your choices Stephanie. What about your younger siblings? Would you rather them stay here, growing up in a life of misery?
Me: I think they are perfectly fine with life right now, you shouldn’t even be worrying about them, or me, or my brother! My dad’s still here.
D: About your dad, [REDACTED] tells me he used to be a Marine.
Me: Is a Marine, what’s your point?
B: We have been informed by your grandmother that due his experiences on the battleground during the War on Terror was a bit hard on him.
Me: SHUT. UP. You don’t know a thing about my father!
B: There had also been instances where your siblings went to school sick or with a dirty diaper.
Me: Stuff happens, but my dad is a wonderful parent.
D: So are you saying, you want your siblings to stay with him?
Me: ……Yes.
B: And that you want to stay with him.
Me: Oh drop it! I’m not doing foster care! I just want my mom back!
B: You’re mother won’t be able to return until she returns back to normal.
Me: Are you serious?! How long do you think that will take?
D: We don’t know yet.
B: She is a danger to the family, Stephanie. We’re jus-
Me: Yeah, I get it. You’re just looking out for my own safety. Child Protection Services right? Bottom line, I don’t want this family torn apart by your folk.
B: We aren’t here to-
Me: We’re done here.

There's a bunch of back and forth between us after this, but you get the idea. My God, I thought these people were supposed to be helpful, not a bunch of stuck up pricks who think they know more than you. But they're gone now, so whatever. At least the house is clean, courtesy of Rebecca. Yesterday she was acting a bit weird though. Asking me if I've been sick lately and shit, can you believe this gal? Honestly, and she wonders what goes on in my head.

Actually, let's not talk about that right now. Haha, you don't WANT to know what goes on in my head.

There's a reason why everyone at my school finds me a tad bit creepy I suppose.
I can't wait to see what worthless shit CPS will send to us now. Altogether now: "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"

I need some coffee or something.

2 comments:

  1. I can get you coffee tomorrow if you like.

    ReplyDelete
  2. No need. Don't need you spending all your money on me.

    ReplyDelete