Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Dream Journal #4 (Her Again)

Haha! Success! I managed to dream about her again! That's a start right? Pretty soon, we'll be having conversations, and I'll be building giant sand blocks from building small sand blocks, and knock those and the giant ones down at the same time! Yeah!

...Sorry, but this is just so exciting!

And the best part is...

I know, it's awesome. Problem is I could hardly hear her. What did she sound like...? ....It was kind of like the wind, her voice; soft, subtle. But I did pick up a couple of words: "Waiting...wants you...stay here, together...park...trees...back...scared..." As you can tell, this makes absolutely no sense. We were in the park again, that much I knew. This time, we were on a bridge, over the creek. She was just standing there, looking at a bunch of fishermen at the falls before she spoke. For a moment, I was afraid she was going to fall again. It sure looked like it. I mean, it really did look like she was slipping through the fence itself. Bah, I don't know.

So, I was dumb and forgot all about lucid dreaming, but it seemed like my dream knew exactly what I wanted to do, because I felt myself drawing nearer to her. Unfortunately she didn't become any louder, just that same soft, gentle voice. I came closer regardless, and I was becoming kind of nervous. I had this sudden surge of terror all of the sudden. It felt like I needed to get out of there, right at that second. I tried screaming at myself to stop, but I wasn't able to control my body. At all. The nearer I went, the more prominent the feeling became. Then, I reach out towards her again, this time I could touch her, and she turned around and...

Oh God.

I woke up immediately, the sheer shock of...

At least she spoke, right? Maybe I can try to work out what the words meant. Although it really seems like a bunch of random stuff, since it was a dream and all. Rebecca, what do you think?

Mom's watching TV right now. Apparently her head hurts real bad, that and she's starting to act nuts again. She's been real forgetful lately. Right now it's just me and her since my dad is at work and my siblings are at school.

It's kind of awkward.


  1. I believe it's your dream telling you to go to the park, but I'm not too sure. It could be that you feel guilty, perhaps about leaving a friend behind somehow. Did you meet another friend in the park before you met me?

    Regardless, that bridge means you're about to make an important decision, and it's going to be a hard one.

    Oh, Steph.

    Seeing fishermen? What're you trying to catch?

    Please, keep holding on, love. <3

    I really hope your mom gets better. I wish I can help. Does she see a psychiatrist?

  2. I'm not catching anything D: They were just there.

    I don't know...I can't really remember having another girl. I only remember you. I guess there was someone else, but my memory is horrible. I thought you knew this already. I hope it's not that, I wish it was as simple as going to the park. I don't think I can live with the knowledge that I made someone feel terrible as a kid :(

    Yeah...I think we all know what that decision is going to be.

    As for mom...well, she has been seeing a psychiatrist, but I don't know anything about what he's doing with her. Heck, I don't even know his name. I do know he has her on medication though.

    It's not exactly helping much.

  3. That's strange. Well, perhaps she's just some random person on the street.

    Can you tell me what medicine he has her on?

  4. Umm....alright....let me check....

  5. Alright, here's the list of medicine they have mom on:





    ...Why do you want to know what med's she's on?

  6. Schizophrenia...high blood pressure...Bi Polar Disorder...mania...lupus...

    Your mother has lupus?

  7. Uh....yeah?

    I thought I told you already.