Thursday, January 27, 2011

Long Day

Black Swan was....errrr....interesting. WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY TELL ME THERE WAS LESBIAN SEX IN IT? *shudders* Not again. Not again. And Rebecca didn't seem bothered at all. I'm starting to think she's secretly a lesbian. But if that's the case...DID SHE HAVE FEELINGS FOR ME THIS ENTIRE TIME?

....No...that's just stupid. Plus I don't really want to think about that right now. It's bad enough I've never had a boyfriend in my life. I wouldn't know how to deal with having a girlfriend. Not to mention I'm straight...or at least I think I am.

Let's just say I'm leaning towards bi-curious and leave it at that. God.

After the movie we went to Starbucks as planned, and surprise, surprise Frank was there. With another boyfriend. *facepalm* I swear, that guy gets a new boyfriend every week, but I'm not going to judge him. Much. He actually offered to buy us all drinks, which is surprising because he is sort of conceited. But whatever, I wasn't complaining! I still have the taste of honey and cinnamon flavored mocha in my mouth! Frank was right, that stuff is good! I might even buy it every day before going to school (if I had the money, that is, I'm flat broke). We had a very nice talk with his friends about public transportation. Frank had to mention the time I got off at the wrong station. I....I don't want to talk about it. Once we got to zombiefied monkeys, Frank ended the conversation and left to go visit a "friend's house". Yeah, because I totally believed him for a second. My theory is that he was planning on getting drunk that night.

Only Frank!

Rebecca and I FINALLY got some time to ourselves, and she immediately started talking about mom. Her reasoning is that in order to help cure her we had to know what drove her over the edge in the first place. So she gave me the longest interview I ever had, and I must say it was one of the hardest. I felt pretty bad about relying this entire episode to her, and as much as I would love to share this with the world, I just can't. I trust Rebecca enough to do the same. It's just...hopeless. Hopeless! I couldn't even do anything either. And now as it seems we're low on money until the taxes come back. WHEN? Today? Tomorrow? Monday? Ugh, I can't take this any longer. Luckily, Rebecca was understanding throughout the entire thing. It's good to know that you have friends who will always be there for you. I really don't know what I'll do without Rebecca sometimes. She suggested that I do whatever I can to help mom relax, and keep an eye on her at all times. Watching TV seems to work for her, so I'll start doing that. In the meant time, Rebecca has this theory that mom has a split personality. It sounds kind of crazy to me, but it does explain why she's not the same mom I used to know, and her "episodes". Honestly, if there's a way to get rid of one personality and just have the old one, that'll be great. Rebecca advised me against this though, she said something about how the other personality is apart of my mom or something like that. I can't really remember. I just hope she gets better...

Rebecca also told me that I should go back to the park some time soon, and start exploring a bit, try to get a feel for my childhood. Literally "walking down memory lane". She seems to think that this will somehow spark lost memories that might aide in discovering the identity of that girl. I don't think it'll work, but we'll see. On the other hand, she might in fact be just some random girl on the street, so Rebecca told me to study the faces of everyone I meet on my daily routes. Yeah, the whole park theory is starting to make more sense than that. I'm pretty sure I feel better just doing that. For now Rebecca advised me against speaking to her based off of the events of the last dream.

Honestly, that looks like the best thing I can do right now.

I saw that Rebecca had a small notebook with her before we left the coffee shop. She better not have been taking notes of me.

Rebecca seems to think she's going to become some sort of psychiatrist when she grows up. Want to know what I think? She should really stick to dancing. Psychiatry won't work out for her.


  1. We'll see my dear. We'll see. <3

    I'm not a lesbian per say, I can't be bothered by anything sexual, that is all. For me, that scene was a work of art, you need to stop taking things at their face matter hun.

    Just go ahead and try to talk to her dear. I think you should go to the park, but it's your choice in the end. I can't do anything to stop you.

    But why would you think I was taking notes on you? I would never do that.

  2. HahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Yeah, I don't believe you :|

    You're a weirdo, by the way.