Destination: Buffalo Psychiatric Center

Is a go.

I have a lead guys. Although I have my doubts. But according to Dr. Fitzpatrick, I should check the Buffalo Psychiatric Center for her. Since they would most likely send her there. It seemed that he didn't want to say anything about my mother, he actually seemed more interested in me. When I told him the news, he was genuinely worried. I could tell, he had that look in his eyes. He kept me in his office, making other people wait just to talk to me. We spoke about a lot of things, mainly my future, school, family life, Frank. Clearly he didn't want me to leave my house, and I can't blame him. This is a bit of a risk. But a risk I must take. I'm sure Dr. Fitzpatrick, and dad, will realize this in the long run.

I asked Dr. Fitzpatrick if there was anything else he could tell me about my mom. Anything at all. She said she believed she was stalked by someone...you have to wonder, what if this was him? I had hoped she gave some description on this stalker's appearance. And well...I'll just give you guys the entire conversation.


(I enter Dr. Fitzpatrick's office after HOURS of waiting)

Fitzpatrick: Ah, Steph. Good to see you. Come in. I heard about your friends funeral. Terrible...

Me: Doctor, I'm not here for that. There's more pressing matters going right now.

F: Hmm? Like what? Something wrong Stephanie?

M: Oh nothing much. I just came hoping to find out more about my mother.

F: That again? Stephanie I am as clueless as you are on the events following your mother's graduation and I've already said far too much on the subject.

M: But Doctor, this isn't about the stupid incident at the air force boot camp, this is about that stalker you told me about before. Remember? The guy that my mom claimed was stalking her? You told me when I was in the hospital?

F: Oh yes, the business man.

M: So this guy was a business man?

F: Oh yeah, a tall fellow too.

M: (It finally hits me) Slender Man!

F: What?

M: Uh...oh! Oh nothing! Just an internet fad that came to mind. I tend to...shout....these random... (I notice he was writing stuff down, bastard) Yeah.

F(muttering): Hm....Stephanie, if something's on my mind you know you can share anything with me. It's my job to be right here so you have someone to share your problems with, after all.

Are you worried about your mother by any chance?

M: Oh, yeah! Speaking of which, I wanted to ask something if you don't mind.

F: Ask me anything. Remember, I'm here for you.

M: Yeah, well...my mother.

(I take a deep breath)

Where did they send my mom?

(there was a temporary awkward silence between us.)

F: Uh, Stephanie...I can't exactly share this information with you. It's very confidential an-

M: Please Dr. Fitzpatrick! I need to know where she is! She can be in danger! And if I stay we'll all be in danger!

F: What are you talking about, Stephanie?!

(Yeah, I sort of completely lose it)

M: Even you Doctor!

I can't fucking stay here and wait for everyone to die!

So Dr. Fitzpatrick knows about my journey away from home. He didn't approve at first. I think he still doesn't approve. I could tell he was considering sending the police after me, he even had the balls to remind me that the police would start looking for me no matter what. But it's not like I'm not aware that this might fail and everyone may get into big trouble because of me, but it's better than everyone dying. I don't need any blood on my hands at the age of seventeen. But Dr. Fitzpatrick looked like he didn't want to do it, send the cops after me I mean. I'm starting to think there may be some compassion in that doctorate heart of his. Although there was also some fear in there too. After I spilled the beans we both talked for awhile. He was nice, not amazing, but not bad either. I refuse to say I'm in debt to him though, even though he was kind enough to lend me some money that I used to buy some Raspberry Soy Cappuccino. That's some amazing stuff! You should try it Rebecca and internet! Seriously!

LET ME TORTURE YOU UNTIL THEN.

<3


(In case you haven't notice they have Mardi Gra stuff up. The Mardi Gra celebration was yesterday and apparently I missed it. But supposedly it was just a bunch of people getting drunk anyways, so it probably doesn't matter. But I'm still kind of upset. I was almost tempted to pick up a necklace off the sidewalk. They STILL haven't cleaned shit up around here. Buffalo, I swear.)

Like I said before I have my doubts about the psychiatric center, but I always wanted to go inside of it. It's kind of old, so that's the reason why. It's actually a national landmark, and dates back to 1870. History and old buildings in general always fascinated me, mainly because I was this big paranormal fanatic in my early years of highs school....

Frank and I went into an abandoned house once ya know, with some pagan friend of his. We used to think it might be haunted, we saw weird faces in the windows, and heard noises in a basement. Once we saw something...something floating. The pagan friend finally told us whatever was in there...was evil...

I'm sorry, bad memories.

Ugh.

Anyways, part of that Freshman in me likes to think this place might be haunted. But at the same time I hope it isn't.


Speaking of hauntings. Ever realized that there are more people in the same boat as you in your area than you thought?

Saw this on the bus ride to school this morning. I had to force one of my friends to move before I could capture it on my phone...he was pretty pissed. But I think it might be relevant. Funny thing is it was by Utica Station, so I'm thinking this person took the bus to the station, and meant to go downtown. But then again...he or she probably wasn't being stalked at all, and was just some random ghetto person who thought they were being cool. But it was interesting to see on a bus ride to school, especially with all the stuff around it. You gotta love Buffalo. So much graffiti here :/ (travel from downtown, down Seneca, you'll see graffiti of the phrase "Atak" everywhere).

But I'm not Utica if that's what you guys think. Currently I'm lounging at the library typing this up.


...And I may be kicked off the computer soon.


Alright I'm off!

Jeez...

Sorry about not posting yesterday guys (I'm back, by the way)

I was busy....reading stuff....on this Slender Man dude. Okay, can someone say Creeperstein? How many people does this guy stalk anyways? I lost count after the tenth blog (not that I was counting in the first place). Yes, I admit, I was sort of stupid to believe that this shit wasn't real. I realize that now. But since he just killed my best friend I suppose I have no choice now don't I? I mean, what if this guy's stalking me too? I bet he's out there right now, looking out my window...

Only he's not. Heh.

I wonder why, is he busy with all of these other people? Does he follow some sort of schedule? Some people say he can travel through time and space (does this mean he's an extra dimensional alien?), Rebecca had to explain the entire thing to me, and why he managed to disappear with Frank right in front of my eyes. I'm still shaken up about that. I think about him all the time you know? I keep thinking about him, that day, and Frank. But there's always someone else there, someone watching. I know who she is, I know I see her before, but now that she's bothering my friends I want to know her name, her address, everything so I can beat the crap out of her.

Yeah, I'm mad, I'm mad as hell. But it's not Rebecca's fault, so I can't blame her. I don't even know who to blame for all this. I guess I blame myself... even though Rebecca insists that I'm not to blame. "Everyone is in the same boat, some have it worse then others". Who's everyone? The people who write the blogs and post videos on Youtube? Or everyone, everyone. You guys believe that writing about him would make him stronger right? Tulpa Effect or something? So why the hell we do it? I'm an optimist so I like to think it's a sort of confidence booster. Sure, a lot of these blogs are tragic to read, I think I cried once or twice last night. But at the same time reading the blogs touched my heart in a weird, fluttery, way. It makes me want to join them, but as Rebecca said countless times, I really can't. That is unless Josh here can learn to take care of himself. *glares*

I know where I would go if I were to run. New York City. It worked for M right? And I do live in Buffalo. So, why the hell not? I think I thought about stowing away on an airplane during my stay in the hospital... I was pretty depressed. You may not realize it with the way I act around people, but I'd like to say I cried enough to fill a pool. A small pool, not a public pool, but you get the idea. I was supposed to watch Repaul's Drag Race and be tested on it by him. But I can't do that now, I guess. I was really looking forward to it too.

We were also supposed to go to college together, in California. We both got accepted and I already sent most of my stuff in.

Fuck my life.

And to any gay/drag haters right now I want to say one thing from the bottom of my heart: Just once, can you bring yourself to have a bit of compassion? If not, well fuck you then. Everyone have a moment of silence for Frank Anthony Williams Jr.

The watermark at the beginning ruins it, but it's the thought that counts right? Sorry for stealing your picture Rebecca...

I know, it sucks, but I spent all night working on it.

The funeral is this Saturday. There's not going to be a wake. I think they're going to cremate his body and bury the ashes. Or something like that. I'm not sure what they'll do, I've never had to go to a funeral before.

Nobody close to me has died before.

I'm borrowing my mom's little black dress, she has no need for it at the moment, now that she's away. Oh right, didn't I tell you guys? They sent her away to some other hospital, the bastards. Now Dr. Fitzpatrick is completely in charge of me at the moment. I can't say whether or not he's particularly happy, but I'd say he's close to being upset. Well, at least I managed to spend some "quality time" with my mother before she left. And what did I do? I asked her the most idiotic question you could ask your sick mother. I asked her what she knew about Slender Man. Like I said, not the best idea in the world. I have never seen her so angry, I swear she was about to choke me. It's funny, I was more focused on defending myself against the white coats that were trying to restrain her as oppose to defending myself against my crazed mother. Because, she was, you know, my mother. I didn't want to see a bunch of jerks in white holding her down like that regardless of how insane she supposedly is. They make her out to be stupid. Let me tell you this, I know she knows something. Something just keeps her from saying anything, whether it be fear or something else. She started laughing immediately once they managed to hold her down, but I swear she was crying. I could see tears forming from her eyes.

They didn't let me see her again after that. But I managed to talk to Dr. Fitzpatrick about her. Guess what? Apparently he knew her from the time she was my age (actually two years younger). She always had problems, he said. She always would claim that she could see a man, stalking her day in night; on the streets, in her home, in her dreams. Apparently it all began with the death of a best friend, it drove her into a depression worse then mine (although according to him I'm handling this well, yay me). A few months later she met a guy who was supposed to comfort her, she expected him to comfort her, but it turns out he was a jerk who cheated on her and left her when he got another girl pregnant. Something along those lines. My memory's kind of hazy. Once again she went into a state of depression, almost breaking and losing her mind to grief. Church saved her, she actually told me this. Don't ask me how or why, I'm not much of a church person myself to be honest, but the hope that they gave her kept her together. Dr. Fitzpatrick told me he left her alone during those times. But then, some months after her graduation, he heard word that she had come back from boot camp in the Air Force which she planned on going to after high school (I know this because I read her yearbook from the 80s, yeah I'm such a bad girl). I asked him why she was brought back, he told me that she was suffering from psychosis at the time, and having Bi-polar like symptoms at the time. He didn't know what actually happened at the boot camp, apparently. This time it was my dad that saved her. I asked him if he ever witnessed any instances where mom went batshit insane before. He says no, but I feel like he's lying. He wouldn't look me in the face and started crying and hugging me, whispering that we would get through this together. I think that he thought I was bothered by something....

He's right, but I'm not going to tell him anything until he gives me answers. In the meantime I'm going to contact the mysterious troll (or "Bitch" as Rebecca calls her) since apparently she hates Rebecca. And who could blame her? (I'm kidding, by the way).

In the meantime I'll continue to plan for....

Yeah. I don't even think I want to watch Repaul anymore. Not even in his memory.