Saturday, April 30, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
and weve only just begun
so many roads to choose
make a wish and youre on your way
and yes weve just begun
sharing horizons that are new to us
watching the signs along the way
just the two of us
together
and when the evening comes
youll smile
so much of your life ahead
well find a place for you to grow
and yes weve just begun
four down. five to go.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Some Things Must Never Be Witnessed
Steph's currently in the hospital with Dr. Fitzpatrick. He left a voice message on my phone explaining that she was currently unstable. The firefighters who came a few days beforehand found her struggling with the air, dressed in a strange blue shirt she claimed she never seen before. Beside her was her sister, and I know what they are saying... Everyone seems to think that Steph killed her own sister. I spoke with her earlier, and her account reveals something entirely different. Everyone is acting like Steph is mad. Even her own father... She reminds him too much of his wife, he says. It's almost as if he expects her to go missing too. Dr. Fitzpatrick assured me she was safe with him, and he'll make sure she'll stay with him as long as she needs to. I have to say I trust his judgment. More than anyone else right now. I'm not even sure I can trust myself right now. I truly do not know what I am doing. And while I am trying, it seems like the closer I get to some new discovery the further I get from what I'm actually searching for. It's like a never ending cycle of Cat and Mouse. Only in this game nobody wins. We are at a stalemate He and I. And I've seen Him more and more out of the corner of my eye. I didn't want to tell Steph this but I think I'm seeing him too. I often try my best to ignore him, so I can return to my research, but the temptation is too overwhelming.
Apparently Mr. Nord has his own problems with the CPS. Now that Hannah is dead they are trying to take away Josh and Zach. I believe they already took Zach, because I haven't seen Mr. Nord with him. But the only person I've seen him with so far, was a bearded old man. So I could be wrong. Poor Mr. Nord. He has a lot to deal with right now. No home, no insurance, and they are trying to take away with children. He personally asked me when did everything go wrong. I wished I could answer him, but I was too busy staring at the flames. I remember thinking I saw a shadow in there. But then that shadow became four people. My memory is a bit blurred after that. In fact I don't remember anything at all. Just those four shadows, and one of them, the shadow of a girl, edging towards me, fast. I think I went inside to retrieve some papers, because all I have to retrieve from the fire are these.
The mother and child, the face, the coordinates, and a couple of blank papers, all have been pretty singed in the fire. But luckily, they aren't bad burnt. I guess I managed to get to them before the fire could do some real damage. I can't find the rest of the journal anywhere. I'm certain it's nothing but ashes now. Along with Hannah's poor body. An anonymous person is paying for her funeral and everything. Nobody knows who he is, but he claimed that he was a member of a small church on Clinton. I think it's pretty nice of him. As far as I know, Steph won't be able to attend. Not that I think she wants to go. To be honest, I don't want to either. But I must, Steph's father wishes me to be there, and I think I should for Steph's sake, if anything else. Poor Zach is clueless. He just thinks his sister is lost. But Joshua, who asked to come over to my at my house, seeming a tad bit suspicious of Steph and I. Steph may not have noticed it, but he was looking at her weird for the entirety of Saturday. It's gotten to the point where he cornered me today and demanded some answers. And I was shocked. Usually he never talks, with anyone.
"What's going on?" he asked me. I couldn't hear it at first. His voice is so soft, so quiet, like a whisper in the wind. And he knew I couldn't hear him at first, so he asked again, much louder this time. "What's going on?" It made me jump, hearing him talk to me for the first time. It didn't seem to faze him, he kept on staring at me as if accusing me of something. "What's going on?" he asked a third time. "What do you mean?" I asked back. "You know what I mean" he said knowingly. "Steph's been acting weird around the house, and you too. Something's happening." I was beginning to fear the worst, and life delivered. "She's seen him too, hasn't she?"
Apparently Mr. Nord has his own problems with the CPS. Now that Hannah is dead they are trying to take away Josh and Zach. I believe they already took Zach, because I haven't seen Mr. Nord with him. But the only person I've seen him with so far, was a bearded old man. So I could be wrong. Poor Mr. Nord. He has a lot to deal with right now. No home, no insurance, and they are trying to take away with children. He personally asked me when did everything go wrong. I wished I could answer him, but I was too busy staring at the flames. I remember thinking I saw a shadow in there. But then that shadow became four people. My memory is a bit blurred after that. In fact I don't remember anything at all. Just those four shadows, and one of them, the shadow of a girl, edging towards me, fast. I think I went inside to retrieve some papers, because all I have to retrieve from the fire are these.
The mother and child, the face, the coordinates, and a couple of blank papers, all have been pretty singed in the fire. But luckily, they aren't bad burnt. I guess I managed to get to them before the fire could do some real damage. I can't find the rest of the journal anywhere. I'm certain it's nothing but ashes now. Along with Hannah's poor body. An anonymous person is paying for her funeral and everything. Nobody knows who he is, but he claimed that he was a member of a small church on Clinton. I think it's pretty nice of him. As far as I know, Steph won't be able to attend. Not that I think she wants to go. To be honest, I don't want to either. But I must, Steph's father wishes me to be there, and I think I should for Steph's sake, if anything else. Poor Zach is clueless. He just thinks his sister is lost. But Joshua, who asked to come over to my at my house, seeming a tad bit suspicious of Steph and I. Steph may not have noticed it, but he was looking at her weird for the entirety of Saturday. It's gotten to the point where he cornered me today and demanded some answers. And I was shocked. Usually he never talks, with anyone.
"What's going on?" he asked me. I couldn't hear it at first. His voice is so soft, so quiet, like a whisper in the wind. And he knew I couldn't hear him at first, so he asked again, much louder this time. "What's going on?" It made me jump, hearing him talk to me for the first time. It didn't seem to faze him, he kept on staring at me as if accusing me of something. "What's going on?" he asked a third time. "What do you mean?" I asked back. "You know what I mean" he said knowingly. "Steph's been acting weird around the house, and you too. Something's happening." I was beginning to fear the worst, and life delivered. "She's seen him too, hasn't she?"
I was struck silent, I simply couldn't say anything. What this whole conversation implied, I had hoped it wasn't what I thought it was, but that look in his eyes told me otherwise. He knew. Oh he knew. And he wanted me to explain it to him. I refused, I had to. I couldn't just pull him into this, I couldn't let what happened to Steph happen to him. I had to protect him somehow. But he was persistent. "You're lying. You knew he was there. The entire time, you knew. Both of you did." "Please Josh, I have no idea what you're talking about." "The business man! She's seen him hasn't she? And you did too!" I could be honest about one thing, I have not yet seen him. But he seemed to think I did. I didn't know how I could explain myself to him. "He killed Hannah didn't he?" I felt a sudden sickness clutch on to my stomach, everything seemed to fall all around me, and Joshua continued to stare. "I want to know who he is." I couldn't answer him. I felt paralyzed, as if I was lost in a dream. A few inaudible sounds left my throat, but it wouldn't travel beyond my tongue. I felt like I was about to die right in front of Josh. I felt like I was about to be swallowed by the black hole in my stomach. But then something saved me.
"Joshua Nord?"
It was Mr. Hernandez, one of the two social workers from CPS in charge of the Steph's family's "case" as they call it. The one Steph constantly refers to as "Mr. Dick" and the one I recognize the easiest. And generally, he is the nice one. "Mrs. Velázquez wants to see you for a moment." I still couldn't shake that feeling that I got from Josh, who continued to stare at me even as he left. For a moment there I thought I was going to spill everything. My only hope is that he doesn't find this blog somehow. Once Josh was out of the way, Mr. Hernandez turned to me with a grave look on his face. "Rebecca, you and me will be having a talk, separate from your mother and Josh. We have some important things to discuss." "I don't wish to discuss Steph's condition right now." "This is not about Stephanie's condition, Rebecca...this is about survival."
I lead him to my room, where we could talk privately, still dazed. Luckily, I cleaned my room earlier, so he had no reason to whisk me out of my home. He seemed impressed at least. "Dancer?" he asked, looking at some of my trophy's. I nodded, "That's wonderful. You must be proud of your talent." I shrugged, it did not matter much to me. I just wanted to get this over with. "Where do you see yourself going after the end of the school year?" Again, I shrugged. "I've been considering going into Psychology sir." "Psychology?" "Yes. I want to help people." I think I said something wrong. He looked at me with a look of concern. "Yes, Stephanie is in need of a psychologist right now. But you, I'm afraid to say, just won't cut it." My face fell, I was so confused, a part of me was heartbroken. "What do you mean?" Before I knew it I had a hand on my shoulder.
"You're in danger Rebecca. Which is why I'm making you this offer. Let us help you."
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"As you are already know, there is a number of people going missing across the nation, a majority of them children..."
"What are y-"
"...I believe you knew one of these children." At first, I gazed oddly at the man before me, trying to absorb the meaning behind his words. But then it dawned on me, that terrible light of truth. "You-" "Yes, I know about the slender creature." he said. I had to bite my tongue, in order to stop myself from correcting him. "We have made it our business to know. Ever since the year 1977." "What happened in 1977." "I assume your parents told you about the blizzard of '77."
The Blizzard of '77. I vaguely remember my Earth Science teacher speaking about it in class when he was teaching us about weather patterns. It was declared a federal disaster, with over ten feet of snow from what I remember. My father told me about the cars trapped underneath heaps of snow that could pile as high as a two story house. The school buses were amongst those that were trapped, so my father told me about how he and his friends would spend the days after the wind died down outside making tunnels and climbing snow hills. He told me one of his friends once dared him to try and climb a streetlight. "It was crazy" he told me. "Yes, my father told me" I said.
Mr. Hernandez nodded knowingly. "Over twenty people died during the course and aftermath of that storm. Radio reports came out every day, it was the only method of relaying official updates to the general public. While they saved a majority of victims using this method, some people reported to be stranded in their cars weren't there when laborers uncovered the vehicle. I happened to know one of those people."
"And where does Slend- the creature, come in on all this?"
"I saw him in a dream before I heard about my friend's disappearance during the storm. I suppose you can say that's when I became interested in its existence."
"So, you think it took him."
"Not at first, no. But when you've seen as much as I have, you start having doubts. And I've seen some strange things over the course of the last thirty years." I didn't wish to invade his personal history any longer than I have. It felt weird, hearing a social worker explain these things to you. Usually a social worker would be worried about your own sanity if you shared something as fantastical as this. I don't even think I could trust him, I mean... I wanted to trust him, but there was no way I could trust a complete stranger. Yes, he was a potential ally, that much I know now. I want him to be an ally. "Which begs the question of whether it was active during the October storm of 2006." I was awoken from my daydream, perhaps I looked confused. All I could remember was not having power for eight days, and school's being closed for two weeks...trees falling.... I tried to not pay much attention to what was going outside. I didn't like the snow as a kid. It reminded me of iced waters. "I wouldn't worry about it, most probable explanation I have is that the snow and massive amounts of people stacked up on top of each other probably helped in its hunt." He sounded really uncertain, "Enough of the past. Fact of the matter is...you need help, and I hope you start evaluating your situation and abilities if you want to survive." "What abilities? What can I do? I can't help anyone. The runners are better off by themselves. I feel like I'm only making things worse trying to do something, just one thing helpful. I-I'm like a messenger pigeon with this very important letter. And I can't get through the window glass until somebody comes and opens the window. But when they do I fly inside and make a mess, I can't do anything. I have no abilities." "And you believe that these 'runners' as you call them are better off than you? Don't you think they realize that they are just as powerless?" "I don't know! I don't know! I just want to do something!" "Look at me!"
I felt a strong, thick hand grab my chin and force my face so that it was eye level with the eyes of righteous anger. They frightened me, and for a moment I was about to scream, but then those eyes softened. "Listen to me. Do not try to help. Don't even pay attention to them unless you know you have something to contribute. Trust me on this it's not worth getting all worked up over strangers who probably have problems of their own. If you want to be friends with them, it's on you whether or not you're going to be safe. We'll be regulating your posts so we can judge them for ourselves, just in case. I'd advice you to choose who you reveal information to wisely. The world is not a safe world, neither is it a forgiving one. Look around you at all times, there is danger. It's not just protection from the average predator we're focusing on anymore."
"We are the Victim Support Association. Our job is to protect the interests of those who have no defense, or are in desperately need of help but have no one else to turn to. When you're ready I want you to give us a call" His words implied that me and Steph were alone in this, and I believed him. But still...
I can't even trust myself. How am I supposed to trust him? I mean he seems to be of well nature, he gave me a private number and smiled warmly before he left. But can't warm smiles be faked? I don't know...I'm a bit overwhelmed by this. As it turns out Josh wasn't staying with me as I hoped, but she was going to life with his grandmother on his mother's side. I don't know how Mr. Nord thinks about that, but it's my assumption that he is rather upset.
Well, I suppose that's it...nothing more to say...
Keep holding on loves.
Love you all.
I lead him to my room, where we could talk privately, still dazed. Luckily, I cleaned my room earlier, so he had no reason to whisk me out of my home. He seemed impressed at least. "Dancer?" he asked, looking at some of my trophy's. I nodded, "That's wonderful. You must be proud of your talent." I shrugged, it did not matter much to me. I just wanted to get this over with. "Where do you see yourself going after the end of the school year?" Again, I shrugged. "I've been considering going into Psychology sir." "Psychology?" "Yes. I want to help people." I think I said something wrong. He looked at me with a look of concern. "Yes, Stephanie is in need of a psychologist right now. But you, I'm afraid to say, just won't cut it." My face fell, I was so confused, a part of me was heartbroken. "What do you mean?" Before I knew it I had a hand on my shoulder.
"You're in danger Rebecca. Which is why I'm making you this offer. Let us help you."
"I have no idea what you're talking about."
"As you are already know, there is a number of people going missing across the nation, a majority of them children..."
"What are y-"
"...I believe you knew one of these children." At first, I gazed oddly at the man before me, trying to absorb the meaning behind his words. But then it dawned on me, that terrible light of truth. "You-" "Yes, I know about the slender creature." he said. I had to bite my tongue, in order to stop myself from correcting him. "We have made it our business to know. Ever since the year 1977." "What happened in 1977." "I assume your parents told you about the blizzard of '77."
The Blizzard of '77. I vaguely remember my Earth Science teacher speaking about it in class when he was teaching us about weather patterns. It was declared a federal disaster, with over ten feet of snow from what I remember. My father told me about the cars trapped underneath heaps of snow that could pile as high as a two story house. The school buses were amongst those that were trapped, so my father told me about how he and his friends would spend the days after the wind died down outside making tunnels and climbing snow hills. He told me one of his friends once dared him to try and climb a streetlight. "It was crazy" he told me. "Yes, my father told me" I said.
Mr. Hernandez nodded knowingly. "Over twenty people died during the course and aftermath of that storm. Radio reports came out every day, it was the only method of relaying official updates to the general public. While they saved a majority of victims using this method, some people reported to be stranded in their cars weren't there when laborers uncovered the vehicle. I happened to know one of those people."
"And where does Slend- the creature, come in on all this?"
"I saw him in a dream before I heard about my friend's disappearance during the storm. I suppose you can say that's when I became interested in its existence."
"So, you think it took him."
"Not at first, no. But when you've seen as much as I have, you start having doubts. And I've seen some strange things over the course of the last thirty years." I didn't wish to invade his personal history any longer than I have. It felt weird, hearing a social worker explain these things to you. Usually a social worker would be worried about your own sanity if you shared something as fantastical as this. I don't even think I could trust him, I mean... I wanted to trust him, but there was no way I could trust a complete stranger. Yes, he was a potential ally, that much I know now. I want him to be an ally. "Which begs the question of whether it was active during the October storm of 2006." I was awoken from my daydream, perhaps I looked confused. All I could remember was not having power for eight days, and school's being closed for two weeks...trees falling.... I tried to not pay much attention to what was going outside. I didn't like the snow as a kid. It reminded me of iced waters. "I wouldn't worry about it, most probable explanation I have is that the snow and massive amounts of people stacked up on top of each other probably helped in its hunt." He sounded really uncertain, "Enough of the past. Fact of the matter is...you need help, and I hope you start evaluating your situation and abilities if you want to survive." "What abilities? What can I do? I can't help anyone. The runners are better off by themselves. I feel like I'm only making things worse trying to do something, just one thing helpful. I-I'm like a messenger pigeon with this very important letter. And I can't get through the window glass until somebody comes and opens the window. But when they do I fly inside and make a mess, I can't do anything. I have no abilities." "And you believe that these 'runners' as you call them are better off than you? Don't you think they realize that they are just as powerless?" "I don't know! I don't know! I just want to do something!" "Look at me!"
I felt a strong, thick hand grab my chin and force my face so that it was eye level with the eyes of righteous anger. They frightened me, and for a moment I was about to scream, but then those eyes softened. "Listen to me. Do not try to help. Don't even pay attention to them unless you know you have something to contribute. Trust me on this it's not worth getting all worked up over strangers who probably have problems of their own. If you want to be friends with them, it's on you whether or not you're going to be safe. We'll be regulating your posts so we can judge them for ourselves, just in case. I'd advice you to choose who you reveal information to wisely. The world is not a safe world, neither is it a forgiving one. Look around you at all times, there is danger. It's not just protection from the average predator we're focusing on anymore."
"We are the Victim Support Association. Our job is to protect the interests of those who have no defense, or are in desperately need of help but have no one else to turn to. When you're ready I want you to give us a call" His words implied that me and Steph were alone in this, and I believed him. But still...
I can't even trust myself. How am I supposed to trust him? I mean he seems to be of well nature, he gave me a private number and smiled warmly before he left. But can't warm smiles be faked? I don't know...I'm a bit overwhelmed by this. As it turns out Josh wasn't staying with me as I hoped, but she was going to life with his grandmother on his mother's side. I don't know how Mr. Nord thinks about that, but it's my assumption that he is rather upset.
Well, I suppose that's it...nothing more to say...
Keep holding on loves.
Love you all.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Saturday, April 23, 2011
The Journal
Hello everyone. It's Rebecca....Sorry about being inactive for a while...
I've been busy. Lately. And, I've been a bit scared. Steph's been mad at me, I think she still is. Especially now that I told her I went back to the apartment. It's a stupid move, I know. But nothing happen. No Slenderman. No strange noises in the night. Not even a Proxy. Nothing. But I was frightened. I cannot simply lie about that, not after Trickortreat.....
Oh gosh.
It was so long ago. I...I was so dumb. I couldn't...
I'm going to try to make it up to everyone somehow. I'm going to try and become extra helpful. I'm going to try...to be brave, to be optimistic. To not complain. I'm going to try...
I just don't know how well I can do it. I'm doing the best I can. I at least managed to find something at the apartment that Steph missed. That's a start right? I think it's important, it looks important enough. It's a journal. One of those journals I keep hearing about. Journals that those who become Hallowed write. I never thought I would find any of these things.
Here's some of the pages, and what me and Steph think they mean. We've spent all night looking through them at Steph's house.
A large list of numbers, all written as if it were a list. Both me and Steph think the same, that these numbers were forced to be written down. Eventually, it seems that Mrs. Nord got tired of writing, and started scribbling carelessly as the bottom numbers are so hard to read. Steph wouldn't even bother. A lot of numbers repeated themselves so I tried running through some programs to see if there's a pattern. But Steph, being the Earth Science geek she used to be, pointed out that they were coordinates. Specifically coordinates set in New York. Now that I think about it, coordinates with these numbers was on the Earth Science exam just last year. We looked some of them up on Google Maps, and we did get some results. All of them in different cities too. But we have no idea what they could mean, or where they lead. Steph doesn't really want to go and find out either. I can't say I can blame her...
Still, this could be a lead. So we're going to try to figure something out.
Steph recognized this right away. Or at least, the first few words. It's from the musical Annie, and the song "It's a Hard Knock Life".But why though?
Merely numbers. Steph insists that it's a code. I'm attempting to figure it out right now. I have a couple of plausible words so far, but I'm going to wait until I go through it all to see if I get enough to post or not. Some of the handwriting is messy, and hard to read. But the smile in the corner is...a bit disturbing. To say the least. It looks so much like a sad smile....I think this is the point where Mrs. Nord returns to drawing...
Steph and I both agree that this could be her mother and Hannah. With Steph's mother's face crossed out. I wonder why she would cross her face out like that though...
I assume this is a reference to Slenderman right here, represented by a tree. Steph pointed out the people in there before I could spot them. So it may be some sort of commentary on those who flock to him? Steph says I look into things too much. "The point of the matter is my mom is insane". It's particularly obvious that she is...I just wish to know what she's thinking through all of this. And this may be our only chance to figure it out.
This was on the front. I'm not sure what it is. But it looks awfully similar to psychedelic artwork. Particularly the kind they use in therapy. My thoughts are either Steph's mother's was hallucinating, or they gave her drugs and made her draw this, or this drawing isn't hers. Steph seems to think they put her mother on some sort of drugs. I'm not sure what to think.
Well that's it. I think there are some pages that are missing, since it seems like there were pages that were ripped out. But whatever they are, they are gone now. I really want to look into these more today, but Steph wants me to watch Doctor Who with her...and have some girl talk. Which seems silly coming from her. Usually I'm the one who suggests such things. It's funny how the table keeps turning. Steph has changed so much within the past month or two. I remember when she was still so shy and not confident... What happened? Or maybe...was she really shy at all?
I should really be asking these sort of questions. But sometimes I can't help but wonder. I just can't help myself. I always wanted to be what Steph calls a "shrink". I have plans on going to Buffalo State and everything. No idea where Steph plans to go, or if she's going anywhere. She just talked to me about the Marines, and how it would be good for her in terms of survival. I read some of the comments. I suppose I have to agree with Steph, but I agree with Locked On as well. What if it does make him easier to catch Steph? What would happen then?
Either way, I wish Steph luck on whatever she does. We're still going to be friends no matter what...at least...that's what I like to think.
I hope we continue to be friends.
Mr. Nord's calling me. The Nord family is currently coloring eggs right now, and little Hannah wants me to do one.
I'll see you all, I suppose.
Tomorrow is Steph's birthday. I brought a book she may like. Or not.
I'm going to try to make tomorrow wonderful for her.
I just want her to be happy.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
My Testament to the city of Buffalo....and other stuff.
Ya know what guys?
Buffalo ain't such a bad place.
Sure, we may be in a slump, taxes are high, people are dumb, and you spend every day wondering when things will get better.
But it's not THAT bad. At least living here would be better than running across the country for the rest of your life, from some faceless businessman who specializes in the business of insanity. If ya know what I mean. I suppose a nice visit to the games last night made me realize that I will be missing so much once I'm out of here and into the world. I'm leaving so much behind, and tell ya what, you think I'm gonna be happy about this? Do I look happy to you?
...
Okay, whatever.
Anyways as I said before I went to the game last night in my hometown. You may be asking, "But Steph, why may I ask are you going to a Sabres game after yelling at the whole lot of us for taking part in some fuckward's game in order to save our friend we so dearly care about?" The reasoning is simple boys and girls, my father asked me if I wanted to go, and my birthday was coming up in a few days. So I thought, why not? I think I'm obligated to enjoy my life once in awhile don't you? I mean shouldn't we be all taking any chance we get to find some sort of bright spark in this whole fucked up darkness we're living in. Isn't that what sanity means? I'm sorry folks, but I refuse to let this thing win. I refuse. And if having one and living my days as a sunshiny person means beating the crap out of Slender Man. So be it.
I suppose you can also call this my testament and will to Buffalo. Buffalo, wanna know what I reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaally like about Buffalo? Underneath all that dirt and grim there's a bunch of flippin' history just waiting to be discovered. In the summer I see old people touring around all the time. Probably because most of them lived here during its hay day, or maybe because most of them just plain appreciate history enough to think Oh what the hay, I'm sure we can set aside a few coins for this city. Heh. Coins. Now, I'm not saying Buffalo ain't got its bad bits here and there. I fucking lived here ya know. I still do...kind of. Oh complications...oh running... But on the way to the game I passed by this big abandoned building with a copper neoclassical looking entrance. My dad pointed it out to me, while I was thinking that place HAS to be haunted. My dad told me it was probably a school at one point. Which makes sense when you think about it. It did look pretty scholastic. I just wish I took a picture of it so I could show you guys. But whatever...you snooze you loose right? (Just so you guys know, we had to take the bus)
Downtown there was some sort of crime scene. NO IDEA what that was about, but they told us we had to take the train if we wanted to go to the stadium, there was even some guy on a megaphone blasting orders into our bloody ears, and some bastard told us we were wasting our money. Ya know, I know we're in an economic slump and all, but do you really have to be shitheaded enough to say that crap in public? Honestly. Motherfuckers. But yeah, the subways were PACKED by the way. To and fro. You know I don't usually go to games when I've never seen a packed subway before. But like I said before, think of this as a testament to my city. Which I will no longer be in very soon. I saw a battleship at the harbor, probably the same one I've seen before. The stadium's like right next to the Buffalo harbor. To think the harbor used to be such a busy place eh?
Oh yeah, the battleship. I have a picture of it too.
And here it is later at night.
Pretty awesome right? I think they allow people to go inside, some sort of museum thing, but it's not like I'm gonna go inside it anytime soon. Would be pretty cool to be on the flipping deck of a battleship though. Seriously, for sho.
...What, don't tell me none of you considered how badass it would be to be on a fucking battleship for God's sake. If anything, that's on my list of things to do before Faceless Businessman Dude kills me in my sleep (I'll go there tonight).
...I'm not actually going to go there tonight, it's just...so...yeah...
Moving on!
So...
Guys...
So you think you're gonna visit Buffalo (shuddap, you know some of you want to see that badass battleship I showed you)...
WELL. IF YOU VISIT.
I DEMAND.
THAT YOU TRY.
SOME OF OUR FINEST.
BEEF ON FUCKING WECK.
Fuck Miami btw. Sorry, but just sayin'.
(Don't kill me now.
I mean, come on.)
At least I can now call myself a real Buffalonian before I start running for real. Now I can randomly walk up to people in other cities and if they ask me where I'm from, I'll be like "I'm from fucking Buffalo!" And they'll be like "Buffalo?! Isn't that the city that's a dump, all the way up in Western New York? Hell no wonder you left. There's nothing good there!" And then I'll pull them down to my eyelevel (or up to my eyelevel, it depends), and I'll go, "Well if you DO come to Buffalo. (Which you will, trust me. You can't deny the awesomeness of Battleship.) I DEMAND. THAT YOU TRY. BEEF ON WECK. Just don't try the horseradish unless you can take the bitterness, 'kay?"
And then they'll look at me like I'm crazy.
And I'll be like "BETCH I'M RUNNING FROM A FREAKIN' FACELESS MAN OF COURSE I'M CRAZY."
And then I'll disappear before they call the police.
Yeah, that's totally my plan. Buffalo City represent. *poses*
But enough polishing the crapsack that is my hometown. Game was cool. We won. Yay.
But that's not important.
I'll tell you what IS important.
Here's the story of what happened AFTER the game:
We won (how many times have I said this now? 3?), everybody was flippin' excited. HUGE crowds. I read somewhere that apparently Slender Man doesn't like big crowds (is this true?), so I guess even though I got separated from my father a couple of times (it's my own fault really, I get easily distracted sometimes :x), I felt somehow...safe? I mean, I saw a bunch of guys in suits (mostly media folk, my dad gave me an entire history lesson on this Ted guy. Apparently the box where announcers talk from is a memorial to him, and apparently he was the first announcer EVER for the Buffalo Sabres. Lucky bastards I say! Luck bastards!) Guy in suit=Slender Man. I'm sure you guys have this mindset as well. It doesn't help that there's an area downtown that's practically the fishing tank for business man, there are so many of them swimming around, it's not even funny. Especially around lunch time. Oh God, it's crazy. Funnily enough it's also the place where M&T Bank is based (Fun Fact: Did you know Buffalo is the HQ for the M&T bank?), so I guess that explains some things.
...Damn bankers.
But other than the folks in suits, the chaperons and shit, I felt somehow...at peace. There was a weird kind of happiness I felt there, maybe it was all the happy people around me...no worries, no death, no fucking Eldritch Abominations climbing through your windows. I felt like...I was that kind of person. I felt like I too, had absolutely nothing to worry about, that everything would be absolutely fine. No more deaths. No more running. Everything was okay, within those few seconds of serenity.
And then, I heard somebody yell my last name.
"Nord! Hey Nord!"
It was some Italian looking guy, with a buzzcut hairdue. He seemed to know my dad because he was all like "You motherfucker!" Towards him. You know that one TVtrope? Vitriolic Best Buds or something? Apparently there are a whole lot of those in the military. I suppose that's where I get my attitude from :D
Haha. Yeah, no.
Anyways, my dad introduced this guy as Salvatore Buscaglia (yeah, totally Italian), and he seemed to be a pretty nice guy. They exchanged some best buddy buddy words like "How've you been ya bastard". That kind of stuff. I just sat there wondering what the heck was going on and who the hell was this guy. According to my father they were best buddies in the Marines. They did everything together. Including driving around on top of a flipping TANK in NORWAY, waving a fucking Marine flag around like a banner. For freakin' FIFTY MINUTES (or miles, I forget which). Needless to say, I was in awe for a couple of hours afterwords. He even gave me his blessing. Afterwords my dad was talking about how it must've been some sign of God that I met Buscaglia at a flipping Sabres game after they flipping won with our goalie actually doing something good for himself for a change. (Took him long enough.)
"Seriously, you have GOT to go to bootcamp now that you've met fucking Buscaglia! There is no way you're getting yourself out of this one!"
Let me explain. Ever since my mom first went off the deep end me and my dad have been talking about me potentially going into the Marines after highschool. I kind of forgot about it after this whole Slender Man business started, and I'm not too sure whether it'll work out or not, what with the whole runner thing and finding my mom.
But I've been thinking, going in the military would probably give me some sort of advantage over normal civilians. Like, the whole traveling all over the world thing. As far as I'm concerned there is no chance Slender Man can get to me if I keep moving from place to place. Even if I am somehow forced to camp in a forest, at least I'll learn how to fucking take care of myself right? Ya know, survive? Isn't that what you Runners are about anyways? Survival? I might just do it, I'm really thinking about it. I just gotta figure out where my fucking mother is first. My dad said not to worry about it. Apparently the city of Buffalo ACTUALLY has a search party out looking for her. Wow, so my city is actually good for something! Told ya Buffalo ain't such a bad place after all. Bet you lot didn't believe me did ya? Well, to tell the truth I didn't believe me either.
Suddenly the topic of my grandfather (the one that my mom and dad stayed with when I was a baby, remember? The whole apartment thing that was such a whole lot of fail?) came up. Apparently he was a Marine too. How about that? Being a Marine runs in my family! According to my father he fault in the Vietnam War (that poor soul). And before you guys bring up Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or whatever that kind of bullcrap people stereotype about military folk these days let me clue you in on a little secret:
FIGHTING WARS DOES NOT MAKE YOU CRAZY.
And whoever believes that is a fucking moron, who should probably try going to war themselves and see if they like people accuse you of being insane. No, insane is claiming that you grandfather was back from the grave and fucking possessing you. Being insane is looking in the mirror, and acting like there's someone or something there that isn't yourself. Like me, I'm insane. But I never went to war now did I? My dad is saner than me and he's a fucking marine. He watched people get fucking shot right before his eyes and is he in a mental institute right now? FUCK NO. My mom is. Or she's supposed to. That is until she was fucking stolen away from me. And we're going to fucking get her back. You can bet on it. This here is a message to all those Proxies out there. I WILL GET MY MOTHER BACK. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If it means going through fucking bootcamp in order to do so then so be it. I'm not going to let that fucking thing win. I refuse to.
In the mean time, turns out that entire trip to my grandfather's apartment was a big waste of my time. According to my dad he lives all the way in fucking Arizona right now. Fuck that. I'm not traveling all the way to Arizona all by myself. Luckily my dad's gonna try to contact him through the phone, I wish him luck on that. There are so many things I wish to ask him, it's not even funny.
Speaking of the apartment apparently Rebecca found something important. She's going to come over tomorrow to show me what's the whole dealeo with that one. We may even have a sleepover since my birthday on Sunday.
OH YEAH.
GUYS.
MY BIRTHDAY IS ON SUNDAY.
SEND ME COOKIES K? CAUSE YA KNOW, THE CAKE IS A LIE AND STUFF.
OH AND YOU PROXIES OR SLENDER DRONES OR HIS SERVANTS OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT TO BE CALLED. APPARENTLY YOU GUYS HAVE SOME SORT OF PARTY PLANNED?
WILL THERE BE COOKIES? Y/N?
OTHERWISE YOU CAN FUCK OFF. YEAH YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
In the meantime. I'm feelin' Hella Good.
Also: Fuck Vevo. I can post awesome music videos on my blog if I want.
Buffalo ain't such a bad place.
Sure, we may be in a slump, taxes are high, people are dumb, and you spend every day wondering when things will get better.
But it's not THAT bad. At least living here would be better than running across the country for the rest of your life, from some faceless businessman who specializes in the business of insanity. If ya know what I mean. I suppose a nice visit to the games last night made me realize that I will be missing so much once I'm out of here and into the world. I'm leaving so much behind, and tell ya what, you think I'm gonna be happy about this? Do I look happy to you?
Okay, whatever.
Anyways as I said before I went to the game last night in my hometown. You may be asking, "But Steph, why may I ask are you going to a Sabres game after yelling at the whole lot of us for taking part in some fuckward's game in order to save our friend we so dearly care about?" The reasoning is simple boys and girls, my father asked me if I wanted to go, and my birthday was coming up in a few days. So I thought, why not? I think I'm obligated to enjoy my life once in awhile don't you? I mean shouldn't we be all taking any chance we get to find some sort of bright spark in this whole fucked up darkness we're living in. Isn't that what sanity means? I'm sorry folks, but I refuse to let this thing win. I refuse. And if having one and living my days as a sunshiny person means beating the crap out of Slender Man. So be it.
I suppose you can also call this my testament and will to Buffalo. Buffalo, wanna know what I reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaally like about Buffalo? Underneath all that dirt and grim there's a bunch of flippin' history just waiting to be discovered. In the summer I see old people touring around all the time. Probably because most of them lived here during its hay day, or maybe because most of them just plain appreciate history enough to think Oh what the hay, I'm sure we can set aside a few coins for this city. Heh. Coins. Now, I'm not saying Buffalo ain't got its bad bits here and there. I fucking lived here ya know. I still do...kind of. Oh complications...oh running... But on the way to the game I passed by this big abandoned building with a copper neoclassical looking entrance. My dad pointed it out to me, while I was thinking that place HAS to be haunted. My dad told me it was probably a school at one point. Which makes sense when you think about it. It did look pretty scholastic. I just wish I took a picture of it so I could show you guys. But whatever...you snooze you loose right? (Just so you guys know, we had to take the bus)
Downtown there was some sort of crime scene. NO IDEA what that was about, but they told us we had to take the train if we wanted to go to the stadium, there was even some guy on a megaphone blasting orders into our bloody ears, and some bastard told us we were wasting our money. Ya know, I know we're in an economic slump and all, but do you really have to be shitheaded enough to say that crap in public? Honestly. Motherfuckers. But yeah, the subways were PACKED by the way. To and fro. You know I don't usually go to games when I've never seen a packed subway before. But like I said before, think of this as a testament to my city. Which I will no longer be in very soon. I saw a battleship at the harbor, probably the same one I've seen before. The stadium's like right next to the Buffalo harbor. To think the harbor used to be such a busy place eh?
Oh yeah, the battleship. I have a picture of it too.
...What, don't tell me none of you considered how badass it would be to be on a fucking battleship for God's sake. If anything, that's on my list of things to do before Faceless Businessman Dude kills me in my sleep (I'll go there tonight).
...I'm not actually going to go there tonight, it's just...so...yeah...
Moving on!
So...
Guys...
So you think you're gonna visit Buffalo (shuddap, you know some of you want to see that badass battleship I showed you)...
WELL. IF YOU VISIT.
I DEMAND.
THAT YOU TRY.
SOME OF OUR FINEST.
BEEF ON FUCKING WECK.
(Don't kill me now.
I mean, come on.)
At least I can now call myself a real Buffalonian before I start running for real. Now I can randomly walk up to people in other cities and if they ask me where I'm from, I'll be like "I'm from fucking Buffalo!" And they'll be like "Buffalo?! Isn't that the city that's a dump, all the way up in Western New York? Hell no wonder you left. There's nothing good there!" And then I'll pull them down to my eyelevel (or up to my eyelevel, it depends), and I'll go, "Well if you DO come to Buffalo. (Which you will, trust me. You can't deny the awesomeness of Battleship.) I DEMAND. THAT YOU TRY. BEEF ON WECK. Just don't try the horseradish unless you can take the bitterness, 'kay?"
And then they'll look at me like I'm crazy.
And I'll be like "BETCH I'M RUNNING FROM A FREAKIN' FACELESS MAN OF COURSE I'M CRAZY."
And then I'll disappear before they call the police.
Yeah, that's totally my plan. Buffalo City represent. *poses*
But enough polishing the crapsack that is my hometown. Game was cool. We won. Yay.
But that's not important.
I'll tell you what IS important.
Here's the story of what happened AFTER the game:
We won (how many times have I said this now? 3?), everybody was flippin' excited. HUGE crowds. I read somewhere that apparently Slender Man doesn't like big crowds (is this true?), so I guess even though I got separated from my father a couple of times (it's my own fault really, I get easily distracted sometimes :x), I felt somehow...safe? I mean, I saw a bunch of guys in suits (mostly media folk, my dad gave me an entire history lesson on this Ted guy. Apparently the box where announcers talk from is a memorial to him, and apparently he was the first announcer EVER for the Buffalo Sabres. Lucky bastards I say! Luck bastards!) Guy in suit=Slender Man. I'm sure you guys have this mindset as well. It doesn't help that there's an area downtown that's practically the fishing tank for business man, there are so many of them swimming around, it's not even funny. Especially around lunch time. Oh God, it's crazy. Funnily enough it's also the place where M&T Bank is based (Fun Fact: Did you know Buffalo is the HQ for the M&T bank?), so I guess that explains some things.
...Damn bankers.
But other than the folks in suits, the chaperons and shit, I felt somehow...at peace. There was a weird kind of happiness I felt there, maybe it was all the happy people around me...no worries, no death, no fucking Eldritch Abominations climbing through your windows. I felt like...I was that kind of person. I felt like I too, had absolutely nothing to worry about, that everything would be absolutely fine. No more deaths. No more running. Everything was okay, within those few seconds of serenity.
And then, I heard somebody yell my last name.
"Nord! Hey Nord!"
It was some Italian looking guy, with a buzzcut hairdue. He seemed to know my dad because he was all like "You motherfucker!" Towards him. You know that one TVtrope? Vitriolic Best Buds or something? Apparently there are a whole lot of those in the military. I suppose that's where I get my attitude from :D
Haha. Yeah, no.
Anyways, my dad introduced this guy as Salvatore Buscaglia (yeah, totally Italian), and he seemed to be a pretty nice guy. They exchanged some best buddy buddy words like "How've you been ya bastard". That kind of stuff. I just sat there wondering what the heck was going on and who the hell was this guy. According to my father they were best buddies in the Marines. They did everything together. Including driving around on top of a flipping TANK in NORWAY, waving a fucking Marine flag around like a banner. For freakin' FIFTY MINUTES (or miles, I forget which). Needless to say, I was in awe for a couple of hours afterwords. He even gave me his blessing. Afterwords my dad was talking about how it must've been some sign of God that I met Buscaglia at a flipping Sabres game after they flipping won with our goalie actually doing something good for himself for a change. (Took him long enough.)
"Seriously, you have GOT to go to bootcamp now that you've met fucking Buscaglia! There is no way you're getting yourself out of this one!"
Let me explain. Ever since my mom first went off the deep end me and my dad have been talking about me potentially going into the Marines after highschool. I kind of forgot about it after this whole Slender Man business started, and I'm not too sure whether it'll work out or not, what with the whole runner thing and finding my mom.
But I've been thinking, going in the military would probably give me some sort of advantage over normal civilians. Like, the whole traveling all over the world thing. As far as I'm concerned there is no chance Slender Man can get to me if I keep moving from place to place. Even if I am somehow forced to camp in a forest, at least I'll learn how to fucking take care of myself right? Ya know, survive? Isn't that what you Runners are about anyways? Survival? I might just do it, I'm really thinking about it. I just gotta figure out where my fucking mother is first. My dad said not to worry about it. Apparently the city of Buffalo ACTUALLY has a search party out looking for her. Wow, so my city is actually good for something! Told ya Buffalo ain't such a bad place after all. Bet you lot didn't believe me did ya? Well, to tell the truth I didn't believe me either.
Suddenly the topic of my grandfather (the one that my mom and dad stayed with when I was a baby, remember? The whole apartment thing that was such a whole lot of fail?) came up. Apparently he was a Marine too. How about that? Being a Marine runs in my family! According to my father he fault in the Vietnam War (that poor soul). And before you guys bring up Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or whatever that kind of bullcrap people stereotype about military folk these days let me clue you in on a little secret:
FIGHTING WARS DOES NOT MAKE YOU CRAZY.
And whoever believes that is a fucking moron, who should probably try going to war themselves and see if they like people accuse you of being insane. No, insane is claiming that you grandfather was back from the grave and fucking possessing you. Being insane is looking in the mirror, and acting like there's someone or something there that isn't yourself. Like me, I'm insane. But I never went to war now did I? My dad is saner than me and he's a fucking marine. He watched people get fucking shot right before his eyes and is he in a mental institute right now? FUCK NO. My mom is. Or she's supposed to. That is until she was fucking stolen away from me. And we're going to fucking get her back. You can bet on it. This here is a message to all those Proxies out there. I WILL GET MY MOTHER BACK. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If it means going through fucking bootcamp in order to do so then so be it. I'm not going to let that fucking thing win. I refuse to.
In the mean time, turns out that entire trip to my grandfather's apartment was a big waste of my time. According to my dad he lives all the way in fucking Arizona right now. Fuck that. I'm not traveling all the way to Arizona all by myself. Luckily my dad's gonna try to contact him through the phone, I wish him luck on that. There are so many things I wish to ask him, it's not even funny.
Speaking of the apartment apparently Rebecca found something important. She's going to come over tomorrow to show me what's the whole dealeo with that one. We may even have a sleepover since my birthday on Sunday.
OH YEAH.
GUYS.
MY BIRTHDAY IS ON SUNDAY.
SEND ME COOKIES K? CAUSE YA KNOW, THE CAKE IS A LIE AND STUFF.
OH AND YOU PROXIES OR SLENDER DRONES OR HIS SERVANTS OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT TO BE CALLED. APPARENTLY YOU GUYS HAVE SOME SORT OF PARTY PLANNED?
WILL THERE BE COOKIES? Y/N?
OTHERWISE YOU CAN FUCK OFF. YEAH YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
In the meantime. I'm feelin' Hella Good.
Also: Fuck Vevo. I can post awesome music videos on my blog if I want.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Congradulations: You All Lost the Game
Fuck it. I don't give a fuck about whether you Runners or Fighters, or whatever the fuck you guys call yourselves, get pissed or not. You are all fucking idiots, and I think this whole "game" you guys have been playing only proves my point. Fuck Nocturne. Fuck his games. What, you think saving a life is worth all this? Guess what guys, people are going to die anyways. People here seem to think it's okay to spill their deepest darkest secrets to some fucktard who think he's the shit. And then you guys get all worked up whether or not you miss a part of a fucking game? "Oh, I missed last night's game. I feel so dumb. I'm smarter than this. Hey mister Nocturne, I'm gonna share all my secrets with you okay? Oh mister Nocturne, yes I would want to here that worthless piece of information you are giving me. Even though I know it will be shit. Oh mister Nocturne. Of course I promise not to give any of this away to Reach. Just please keep Reach alive for another day. Oh please."
Hey Ke$ha mind showing these nice people how they really sound?
Honestly you lot piss me the hell off. Now, I already know how most of you will respond (or should I say, what most of you will be thinking in the back of your thick heads):
"This girl is a bitch. She has no idea what she's talking about. Most of us are in fact aware of the sort of trouble we and our friends and family are in and we're working our asses off to make things better. She's just jealous that she missed the entire thing and was left out of the crowd. Oh boo hoo, go suck a codpiece whore."
Oh yeah?
Then stop wasting your bloody time with this shit, and go out there and do it.
Really you guys, I'm just about ready to denounce all the faith I had in the runner community if you guys are going to do this shit whenever you have the free time. Yeah, I know it was for Reach's own good, but haven't you people realized what you just did? Obviously this guy has plans of his own. Obviously he's going to be using some of the information he learned against you guys. Obviously there's some ulterior motive to this, and I don't give a fuck if you say otherwise. This is ridiculous. Playing follow the leader like a bunch of blind sheep looking for a shepherd. Anyone want to take three guesses as to who that shepherd will end up being if you people won't step up and stop acting like pusses about this? This is just giving the enemy the upper hand in exchange for something we already had. It doesn't fucking work. Not to mention it seems to me that this fucker managed to successfully pit you all up against each other. Hell, I'm surprised none of you realized how some of you went crazy falling over each other trying to solve some stupid riddles. They are just fucking riddles guys. Somebody would've figured it out, just be fucking patient with yourselves and if you fail, pick yourselves up again. Kick some ass, don't kiss some.
And Rebecca, you of all people should know better. You don't even fucking know this guy, and then you go ahead and post that shit on his blog? What the fuck is wrong with you girl? Are you dense? Fuck, it doesn't even matter to me, what you did all those years ago. I couldn't fucking care less. What's past is done. But do you of all people realize the meaning of this?
FUCKING THINK.
Seriously.
And another thing (get ready for some classic Caps Lock Raeg):
ARE THESE ALL THE FIGHTERS I'VE READ ABOUT?
THE ALL SO MIGHTY GROUP OF YOUNG ADULTS WHO WILL ONE DAY DEFEAT THE SLENDER MAN?
THE PEOPLE WHO SUPPOSEDLY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT? AND HAD YEARS OF "EXPERIENCE".
WELL CONGRATULATIONS I GUESS. YA'LL JUST MADE PAWNS OF YOURSELVES. I HOPE YOUR HAPPY. YOU'RE GONNA GET REACH BACK, IT WILL BE A TOUCHING MOMENT. WHILE AT THE END OF THE DAY GUESS WHO'LL BE LAUGHING. IT SURE AS HELL WON'T BE US.
If it were me, I would've said "fuck the game, you're going to give my friend back or we're going to have a problem". Yeah, sure, "We have to make sacrifices" I flipping get it. I mean I practically gave up some of my education for fuck's sake trying to find my mother. Look at how great that turned out eh? But doesn't anybody think this is a bit too much?
Don't you think I would rather have you tell me yourself Rebecca?
You could have just avoided sharing all that information with the enemy. You could have avoided becoming caught up in the game yourself. All you fucking had to do was come up with me, and tell me! That's it! Just walk up to me and say, "Hey Steph I've got something that's been on my mind for awhile and I need to share it with you." Fuck, I would have listen. But you DID NOT need to get involved in this piece of shit.
Ryuu might be the only person I managed to get some respect for during this entire game thing. At least someone managed to realize how stupid the entire thing was. Congrats. You earned yourself a new follower. As for everyone else. I'm not so sure... At the moment I'm a tad bit peeved. Just a little bit.
I'm going to go out for a walk, just to clear my head. See ya soon internet, I guess.
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