The Journal

Hello everyone. It's Rebecca....Sorry about being inactive for a while...

I've been busy. Lately. And, I've been a bit scared. Steph's been mad at me, I think she still is. Especially now that I told her I went back to the apartment. It's a stupid move, I know. But nothing happen. No Slenderman. No strange noises in the night. Not even a Proxy. Nothing. But I was frightened. I cannot simply lie about that, not after Trickortreat.....

Oh gosh.

It was so long ago. I...I was so dumb. I couldn't...

I'm going to try to make it up to everyone somehow. I'm going to try and become extra helpful. I'm going to try...to be brave, to be optimistic. To not complain. I'm going to try...

I just don't know how well I can do it. I'm doing the best I can. I at least managed to find something at the apartment that Steph missed. That's a start right? I think it's important, it looks important enough. It's a journal. One of those journals I keep hearing about. Journals that those who become Hallowed write. I never thought I would find any of these things.

Here's some of the pages, and what me and Steph think they mean. We've spent all night looking through them at Steph's house.




A large list of numbers, all written as if it were a list. Both me and Steph think the same, that these numbers were forced to be written down. Eventually, it seems that Mrs. Nord got tired of writing, and started scribbling carelessly as the bottom numbers are so hard to read. Steph wouldn't even bother. A lot of numbers repeated themselves so I tried running through some programs to see if there's a pattern. But Steph, being the Earth Science geek she used to be, pointed out that they were coordinates. Specifically coordinates set in New York. Now that I think about it, coordinates with these numbers was on the Earth Science exam just last year. We looked some of them up on Google Maps, and we did get some results. All of them in different cities too. But we have no idea what they could mean, or where they lead. Steph doesn't really want to go and find out either. I can't say I can blame her...

Still, this could be a lead. So we're going to try to figure something out.

Steph recognized this right away. Or at least, the first few words. It's from the musical Annie, and the song "It's a Hard Knock Life".



But why though?


Merely numbers. Steph insists that it's a code. I'm attempting to figure it out right now. I have a couple of plausible words so far, but I'm going to wait until I go through it all to see if I get enough to post or not. Some of the handwriting is messy, and hard to read. But the smile in the corner is...a bit disturbing. To say the least. It looks so much like a sad smile....I think this is the point where Mrs. Nord returns to drawing...


Steph and I both agree that this could be her mother and Hannah. With Steph's mother's face crossed out. I wonder why she would cross her face out like that though...


I assume this is a reference to Slenderman right here, represented by a tree. Steph pointed out the people in there before I could spot them. So it may be some sort of commentary on those who flock to him? Steph says I look into things too much. "The point of the matter is my mom is insane". It's particularly obvious that she is...I just wish to know what she's thinking through all of this. And this may be our only chance to figure it out.

This was on the front. I'm not sure what it is. But it looks awfully similar to psychedelic artwork. Particularly the kind they use in therapy. My thoughts are either Steph's mother's was hallucinating, or they gave her drugs and made her draw this, or this drawing isn't hers. Steph seems to think they put her mother on some sort of drugs. I'm not sure what to think.



Well that's it. I think there are some pages that are missing, since it seems like there were pages that were ripped out. But whatever they are, they are gone now. I really want to look into these more today, but Steph wants me to watch Doctor Who with her...and have some girl talk. Which seems silly coming from her. Usually I'm the one who suggests such things. It's funny how the table keeps turning. Steph has changed so much within the past month or two. I remember when she was still so shy and not confident... What happened? Or maybe...was she really shy at all?

I should really be asking these sort of questions. But sometimes I can't help but wonder. I just can't help myself. I always wanted to be what Steph calls a "shrink". I have plans on going to Buffalo State and everything. No idea where Steph plans to go, or if she's going anywhere. She just talked to me about the Marines, and how it would be good for her in terms of survival. I read some of the comments. I suppose I have to agree with Steph, but I agree with Locked On as well. What if it does make him easier to catch Steph? What would happen then?

Either way, I wish Steph luck on whatever she does. We're still going to be friends no matter what...at least...that's what I like to think.

I hope we continue to be friends.

Mr. Nord's calling me. The Nord family is currently coloring eggs right now, and little Hannah wants me to do one.


I'll see you all, I suppose.

Tomorrow is Steph's birthday. I brought a book she may like. Or not.

I'm going to try to make tomorrow wonderful for her.

I just want her to be happy.

Mr. and Mrs. Nord Part 1

I've been spending much of my time in the Nord household taking care of the children for Steph and Mr. Nord. Both of them are really sweet and adorable. Their names are Hannah and Zachariah, although we just call Zachariah Zach Mr. Nord and I. He was off today, so I thought I'd spend some extra time at his house due to today being a half day at school and all. Everybody misses you Steph. Even Jeremy. Especially Jeremy. I cannot say how many times he walked up to me asking whether or not Steph was coming back. He's really worried Steph...and I think he might like you. Yes, I understand it's not my place, but there was something about the way he talked about you...

Oh look at me, talking about love when spring is in the horizon. I've been weighing the option of taking the children to the park. On one hand, they would adore the outdoor experience. On the other hand, I don't know whether they would be safe since Slender Man seems to have some sort of interest in the Nord family. Lately, I've been attempting to discover why, by talking to the only reliable source of information I have concerning Mrs. Nord's, who Slender Man originally attacked, past. According to Mr. Nord, they met on the subway downtown, Mr. Nord was dressed in uniform, and Mrs. Nord just happened to notice him, and asked if he was in the army. Apparently Mrs. Nord was living in an apartment that belonged to her uncle, and was always supervised (I assume this takes place after she was kicked from the Air Force). The doors were left wide open, because her family was afraid she was going to seriously hurt herself. They described her as violent, almost suicidal, even though Mr. Nord strictly stated this was impossible for Mrs. Nord. "She could never kill herself" he said. He seemed so certain...

He told me that Mrs. Nord had been abused by her family for her entire life. Out of Mrs. Nord's three sisters, she was the one who was always to blamed for everything. Her sister, Pamilia, would leave her to babysit the babies she gave birth to while she partied with more boys. Shelly, her other sister, tried to control her life so that she was never happy, perhaps out of jealousy, since she seemed precious to her mother, who unfortunately also tended to control her life. But she was also the youngest of the three sisters. So, I suppose it only makes some sense. But hearing Mr. Nord's tales about what his wife told him, it makes you sort of feel for her. She's been so much torture, it's a wonder she isn't right in the head...all that stress... I understand why she must be rescued from Slender Man's embrace. There is a better side to her. Mr. Nord described it as a kind, caring side, but also as a fierce, protective side. The signs of a mother, a mother that wouldn't give up. Her family took that away from her, he said. Now all she can do is hide inside of herself. "Inside of her guilt."

She felt guilty about what happened a few months ago, about when the Nord first bought the house I'm in now. Like it was her fault. Steph, you're father told me everything. I'm not sure what to say...

I don't think Mr. Nord wants me to share these events with anybody just yet. But he told me it was oddly similar if not parallel to how Mrs. Nord was acting when Mr. Nord first met her. Only last time he could help her through it. The antidote was easy, allow her to relax, then get her away from Buffalo to her own devices. Apparently, her family did not trust Mr. Nord much, so it worked for the both of them. Mrs. Nord's uncle almost threw him out a couple of times when he went to his apartment to help Mrs. Nord with her sister's children. Mrs. Nord asked him if she could live with him. And that was the origin of their marriage. It wasn't a large one, neither of their families approved of it.

When they got married, it was inside the city hall.

No one knew of it, except for them.



The idea of leaving Buffalo didn't come until after you were born, Steph.

But Mr. Nord doesn't want to talk about it either.

He won't say anything except the fact that Mrs. Nord's family really drove her over the edge during that time....and that she was really paranoid about everything. Which is why he had no choice but to leave. You may have to move out of Buffalo again, either way, Steph. Your father's thinking about it. It's just...he wants your mother back first.

Please come back soon Steph.

I think Mr. Nord's worried the most out of all.

He is your father.

And if you want me to, I'll try to find out the rest of the story. If you don't want me to know what happened during that time, you don't have to tell me, and I don't have to ask. I'm fine with not knowing.

The lowdown.

So, as it's already been decided, Steph's leaving this week, most likely this Wednesday. We talked it over at school today during lunch. She'll be leaving for only a few weeks, if she doesn't find her mother by then she'll come back and continue schooling. I'll be staying here to take care of the kids and speak to the social workers on behalf of her. I already planned on what I was going to say. Steph already told her father what she planned to do last night. There seemed to be a lot of tears involved, because she called me afterwords. Crying. And I hear Mr. Nord in the background. I even got to speak with him.

Me: Mr. Nord?

Mr. Nord: What happened? What gave Steph the idea of just running away? Was it you who suggested this?

Me: I'm sorry Mr. Nord, I wish I can tell you everything that's happened to us, that's happening to a lot of people. But I'm afraid you will be in danger as well.

Mr. Nord: Danger? What is this? What is this crazy talk? Tell me what happened!

Me: You won't believe me if I told you-

Mr. Nord: Bullshit! I can believe anything! Especially now!


This is about her mother isn't it? Tell me that's all it is!

Me: ....Well, I suppose you can say that...

Mr. Nord: Tell me! Will she be coming back? Are you two going to keep in touch?

What will we do about money?

What about school?

Me: Already covered. We told them today that it was a family emergency, and that Steph will be out for awhile. I'll send her homework through her Email, and she can do it on the run. Everything's covered, you don't need to worry about it Mr. Nord. She'll be coming back when she's done with her journey, it won't take long. Please Mr. Nord, you don't know how important this is to her...


There was silence, and I heard them talking to each other from the ear piece. It was muffled words so I didn't understand what they were saying. But somehow Steph convinced her father to let her go. We just got done talking awhile ago to reinforce the list we made at lunch. We're going to make sure Steph gets through this with enough supplies. In the mean time Steph gave me Dr. Fitzpatrick's number in case I ever need to get a hold of him, and my mother agreed to drive us over there Wednesday.

No one else but me, Steph, Dr. Fitzpatrick, Mr. Nord, my mother, and you guys will know what we're doing.

We're going to get your mother back Steph, you'll see.

Dr. Fitzpatrick

Tall, lean. A tad bit pale. Red headed, naturally. Dr. Fitzpatrick, the sort of guy who you can't help but think he was the sort of kid who grew up as a nerd in high school. Or at least, the sort who would've been seen as one. Freckles, those thick rimmed glasses, pens in the breast pocket. The entire deal. He seemed to intimidate Steph when I took her to visit him, along with the physicist. I'm not entirely sure the reason, but psychiatrists seem to irk Steph. A lot, actually. She wouldn't even look at him. But he seemed kind enough. He didn't necessarily show any ill will, and didn't seem to mind my presence. He had even let me come in with her, and watch their session once I told him I was a friend. Although it could be because I had Steph's dream journal.

Steph's still cross with me about that. Although it wasn't like I could ignore it. I looked through some of the pictures, and some of them... they were different from the ones posted online. She was hiding them. I'll try to post them tomorrow, they're strange to say the least. When she said she wasn't dreaming...I think she was lying.

We talked to Dr. Fitzpatrick about the pill. As he described it those were normal side effects, and should wear down shortly. "All stress relievers cause drowsiness", as they are depressants, I suppose. I ask him about lack of dreams, he smiled, stating that a lack of dreams were a normal side effect as well. Then I show him the dream journal. The new images...he said they couldn't be dreams.

How is psychiatrist supposed to know these things anyways?

But he seemed to know what he was doing. His manner was professional, kind. He always looked thoughtful. I tend to like people like that. Somehow they seem trustworthy.

But if Steph wasn't dreaming, what could these images be?

The psychiatrist suggested that Steph was in a fit of inspiration...inspiration to make these?

I don't know.

But after the session, Steph randomly suggested that she went to the park this weekend. Should I let her? She's still kind of sick (even though she insisted she goes to school tomorrow).

We also got to visit her mother today...I was made to stand outside. Steph came out shaken, to the point of tears. She refused to talk about her mother's problems. Mr. Nord (who was off today) was the strongest of the two. But he was just as suspicious of Dr. Fitzpatrick as Steph was, perhaps more so. I asked him why, and he told me that he had no problem with psychology, but Dr. Fitzpatrick is doing it the wrong way. Something about pills, he dislikes them, with a passion it seems.

"Medicine does not cure a person from insanity" was his words.

Which got me thinking about the cure.

I can't help but wonder if it really works.

Well.

I fortified the Nord home. I won't say how because I can't risk Steph getting mad at me, it will only make things worse. In the meantime, I'm going to try to ask her why she wants to go to the park. It's too cold for that.

Perhaps the movies will suit her needs better. I have two tickets. ;]

Looks like Steph already found out...

I was just debating whether I should post the news, but it seems Steph beat me to it. My mom received voice mail from Mr. Nord earlier in the afternoon. Steph I'm so sorry, I wish there's something I can do. Anything. I can come over there after school, make food and help clean. Anything. Please don't be mad at me.

You may, not want to think of this as more than a fantasy, a dream that just won't go away. You have my sympathies. You do. But there's no other possible explanation to explain this phenomenon. You said it yourself, you never researched this creature in your life. The description matches perfectly. Perhaps you should consider that this thing may be after your mother, I highly doubt your imagination could come up with something as real as this creature, as wonderful as it is. Dare I mention how unlikely it is that the TV started acting out and the lights were dimming? Unless you were high on LSD at the time, which I highly doubt. And you certainly do not fit the definition of "insane" as far as I, your friend, is concerned (although you do some crazy stuff at times). Face it Steph, this is real, and you are not alone.

I found someone who's being chased by him, just like your mom, and he is also experiencing strange dreams, just like you. There are other people too. Hundreds of them, maybe thousands. Maybe even millions. Let me repeat, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. So don't waste time being angry at me. The least you can do is accept some help, or at least accept my help. I only want to help you Steph. From what I read he can do horrible things to you if you aren't careful. Just reading these things gives me goosebumps. I don't want them happening to you.

I hope you read this Steph.

Keep holding on.


Also, it seems the Operator symbol has some sort of effect in protecting oneself from him as shown in Lucien's recent blog. But that is only one instance. If I can find more evidence of it's protective warding I'm afraid I'm going to have to suggest that you use it Steph. Just in case.

It seems it can feel pain too, which is good since it suggests he can be harmed somewhat, unfortunately he can also harm you back.