Was It In My Mind?

Or was it reality?

I don’t even know if I want to know anymore.

I can’t even remember how it happened.

It was just so sudden. I….I don’t even want to talk about it, but I have to. No, I need to. I need to know whether or not I’m actually crazy and this is actually some real shit. I know I shouldn’t expect anything, but this is just too…I don’t know…it’s too…

AH! I DON’T KNOW!

WHAT WAS THAT THING? WHAT WAS IT?

WHERE DID IT EVEN COME FROM?

I’m sitting here…biting my freakin’ skin off. My mom’s hysterical. What the fuck is going on? Last night, my mom was perfectly fine! Perfectly normal, perfectly happy! She was watching cartoons with the kids, she didn’t even care, she was happy. I was happy that she was happy. It was just nice, family bonding time. Then the freakin’ TV cut out, mom goes nuts. Next thing I know, this THING. This…weird…tall…FACELESS THING, appears out of FREAKIN’ NOWHERE. And I saw it for, what? A second? Before it freakin’ disappears, REAPPEARS CLOSER. Now the lights start blinking, and the kids start crying their asses off. I was sitting there, mouth gaped open, trying to scream, I wanted to scream. No sound came out of my mouth, but I could hear my mom scream just fine. And I didn’t do a fucking thing as the creature edged closer to her, before disappearing AGAIN. The TV came on again, but the sound was all jumbled, damn kids were balling their eyes out. And I just sat there.

I think I was crying too. In fact I’m pretty sure I was crying. I was pretty fucking terrified. I think I pissed in my pants, I have no fucking clue. I was scared as shit. The thing disappeared, reappeared again, but now was right in front of my mom, ready to eat her head off. Its face was now DEFORMED, or maybe it was still faceless and I thought it was deformed. THAT FACE PLAYS TRICKS WITH YOUR FREAKIN’ HEAD.

THEN THE TV GETS BACK TO NORMAL, AND THE LIGHTS STOP BLINKING. AND IT’S GONE. IT WAS FUCKING GONE. But my mom. MY MOM WAS BLEEDING FROM THE NOSE.(Okay no big deal, but still!)

WHAT.

WHAT IS….that thing. Please tell me what it was. Was it a demon, and an angel, a ghost, a flippin’ fairy?

I want to know…

I want to know that I’m not dreaming, Rebecca…

I want to know that you’re all real…

My mom.

She keeps screaming.

THEY’RE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY!

Why?

…

I can’t deal with this. It's too much…

Success! (Dream Journal #5)

I've done it!

My first lucid dream!

Even if it wasn't really for that long and I still kind of jumped around!

I've done it!

Heeeeelll yes!

As you can tell, I forgot to shade in my excitement. But who the hell cares!

Yahoo!

...

I should really stop now.

...Yeah, I should really tell you guys (and by "you guys", I mean Rebecca) about the dream....

I was back at the bridge, but much to my disappointment the girl wasn't there. In her place sat a dog, a golden retriever to be exact. He was so cute, wagging his fluffy tail, smiling at me. Suddenly for some reason I checked the time (did I ever mention I'm a time fanatic? I always need to check my watch), and I was like, you know, it's cool. Didn't really think anything of it. Then I was like, "wait", and checked the time again. The numbers were so screwed up I almost panicked and woke up, until I remembered the number one rule of lucid dreaming is to not panic. So I calmed myself down, told myself it was only a dream, so of course crazy stuff's gonna happen. The golden retriever was still there even after all that, it would not go away. It just stood there, doing that head tilt thing. I tried walking away, but always felt compelled to come back to it. Even when lucid dreaming I don't have full control over my dreams. Hmmm....

So eventually I gave in, and asked the dog what the heck it wanted, and it just took off. I had to chase after it, with a couple of dream shortcuts here and there (actually, I have no idea how to use those, plus I got lost once or twice, that weird dog always managed to find me, how does that happen?). He lead me away from the bridge, down this long, windy path (Rebecca, please don't make any Beatles references). Eventually we reached this weird black door (the one pictured in the above picture, only it's black) with a small sapling next to it. The dog stopped next to it, and began waiting. Naturally I thought he wanted me to open the door, but before I could do bloody ANYTHING this freakin' basketball came out of nowhere and hit me in the back of the knee. Excuse me for my French, but WHAT THE FUCK?

Thanks for the wake up call I didn't need :|

Mom's relaxing at the moment, I convinced her to watch TV. She's currently watching the cook for the British queen make some weird chocolate/nuts thing. Yeah...weird. But at least she's happy, and that's all that matters. We also got our taxes back :D

YAAAAAAAAY.

I'm so happy.

Reading some New York Times :3 It feels good to be a yankee.

Tomorrow, I may go to the park, not too sure at the moment...

I'll think about it once I'm done with this here paper. Because the news is the most important thing ever and you better believe it :P (No, not really)